Female
by Write-To-You
Summary: 5 times it's hard to be the only female in the Waverider, and one where it's actually pretty nice. (set at a time after Kendra leaves, but before Amaya comes. Also and AU where the Oculus never exploded, and Snart didn't die BECAUSE I CAN)


**Author's Note: This hit me while I was doing math, for some reason... well, actually, one of the problems was saying, "The boys in Sara's class were more than the girls." and I thought, "The boys on the Waverider were more then the girls." So this was born.**

 **(Yes, my brain makes those weird connections, and mostly all of them have to do with Arrowverse. It's a fact of life for me now)**

1: Hair

Sara stomped into the main room of the Waverider, where everyone was already all situation for a meeting about where in time to go next. Rip glanced up. "Thank you for joining us Miss..."

He trailed off, and she gave him a glare that would melt vibranium alloy. "I can't brush my hair with the cast, ok?"

Her hair was as messy as the team had ever seen it, and obviously it was upsetting Sara to an extreme level not to be able to brush it out. But she had a large, clunky cast on her right arm (Gideon said it would heal the bones faster), and her left wasn't very practiced with a hair brush.

"Here, let me do it." Ray stood up with a calming smile, and reached for her hair brush. "Rip and I are the only ones here with hair-"

"And Rip is _not_ touching my hair." Sara interrupted.

"Anyway, I used to brush Anna's. Occasionally." He made a face, and got a detached look in his eyes. "She always said I pulled too hard."

Sara frowned, and hesitantly handed him the brush. Ray went around to her back and started on the knots. The first few seconds went well, then- "OW! Ow, Ray, stop!"

He stopped ripping through her curls. "What did I do?"

With another fierce glare, Sara yanked the brush from his hand, and slammed it on the table. Everyone winced. "Never again, Palmer. You don't _touch_ my hair _ever again_."

Leonard stood up this time, and carefully picked up the brush. "Let me do it, Sara."

She turned her glare on him, but he only smiled. "Don't worry, I used to do Lisa's hair before school. Yes, me. Mother figure to my little sister." Sara narrowed her eyes, but turned around so he would have access.

Leonard was actually fairly good at brushing hair, though he was still no girl. But with Kendra gone, it would have to do.

2: Clothes

"Miss Lance, would you please report to the main room?" Rip buzzed through the com system, for what felt like at least the 12 time. Around him, Mick was starting to get antsy.

Jax stood up, seemingly eager to get away from the pyromaniac. "I'll go check on her."

When he arrived at Sara's room, it was closed. He knocked. "Sara? You in there?"

"Yes!" She called back.

So she wasn't hurt, dying, dead, or otherwise. That was good. And different. "Can I come in?"

"No!" Sara poked her head out of the door, and he caught a glimpse of her floor, covered with clothes, and a bare shoulder baring the entrance before he averted his eyes. "What do you want?"

He hesitated. Even shirtless, this girl made him nervous. Actually, _especially_ shirtless, this girl made him nervous. "Um.. Rip wanted me to bring you to the main room. We're having a meeting."

"I'll come when I'm done dressing." Sara snapped, and slammed the door in his face.

He knocked again. "What?!" She yelled, and now an arm was outside, holding a knife.

Jax stumbled back a step. "Whoa, whoa, sorry! No need to get violent." He tried to look inside her room, but she blocked his path. "What are you doing in here?"

"Getting dressed, what does it look like?" Sara rolled her eyes. "Rip didn't tell me what time I'm dressing for, and Kendra was the one who was good at that, anyway."

Jax frowned for a moment. "Wait.. you're having clothes trouble?" He laughed suddenly. "You? Clothes trouble?"

The knife was at his throat. "Yeah? Got a problem with that? I'm not allowed to act like a normal female sometimes?"

He backtracked quickly, and literally, and rubbed at his throat. "Of course you are, I never said that. You have perfect right to be a-"

The door slammed in his face again, and Jax winced, before turning around to tell the others what was taking Sara so long.

Girls were so weird.

3: Makeup

"I really don't understand what this is all for." Mick grumbled as he watched Sara layer mascara on her eyelashes.

She rolled her eyes, but gently, so that she wouldn't mess up the carefully positioned mini-brush. "Of course you wouldn't- You're a guy. Guys don't get things like makeup, why it's important, and how hard it is to put on when you're _talking to someone_."

Mick obviously didn't get the hint. He just leaned against the wall and kept on watching her. She sighed. "If you really feel the need to stay, could you pass me the foundation?"

It took a bit of rooting around inside her makeup bag, but Mick finally stuck out his hand. Sara glanced down at it. "That's the lipstick."

"Oh." Mick grunted, and dove back into his search. After a few more tries, he found the foundation (it was pure luck that it didn't take pulling out every single item in the bag)

Sara applied the makeup quickly, and passed it back to Mick. " _Now_ you can give me the lipstick. Nope. Nope- not that- nope! Mick, - _no_ \- you just - _no!_ \- had it! Ugh, just give me the bag." She snatched it from him, irrationally annoyed.

"Sorry, Blondie." Mick grumbled. "I'm just no good with makeup."

"It's alright." Sara sighed, finishing up her makeup and placing it all back in the bag. "I'm used to Kendra being here- I'm sorry, I just took it out on you."

"People do that." Mick nodded. Then he paused, and gave her a look. "Wait... we're not going to talk about feelings right now, are we?"

Sara rolled her eyes. "Mick, it's _me_. What do you think?"

"Fair point, Blondie. Fair point."

4: Periods

Sara _hated_ being female.

Seriously, girls had to do all of the work! Boys just got the enjoyment, and girls had to go through cramps, and PMS, and labor, and nursing.. it just wasn't fair. It was even _less_ fair when she had the _worst cramps in the world_ , and couldn't even ask anyone for a heating pad without it being awkward!

Gideon, the only other (sort of?) woman on the ship prescribed her Advil, and some futuristic pain meds. She took both. Dry.

Then she collapsed on her bed, curling up on her side, and squeezed her eyes shut. "Hey... Gideon?"

"Yes, Miss Lance?"

"Is there any possible way for me to get a heating pad without having to go to the fabricator room?"

"Unless a new fabricator was installed in your room, no Miss Lance, I'm afraid not."

Sara let out a groan, and then, would you look at that? None other then Rip Hunter walked in. "Ah, Miss Lance." He greeted, sounding remarkably like his artificial intelligence. "I see that you are still in bed. Everything alright?"

"No!" Sara yelled at him, shooting up in bed abruptly. "No, it's not, but you're a _guy._ You wouldn't understand."

Rip looked mildly alarmed. "I see... it's, uh, that time of month again?"

"Well aren't you a genius." Sara growled. Rip was slowly backing out of the room, looking like an animal being stalked by a lion. "Why don't you continue being brilliant, and bring me a heating pad, huh?"

"Yes, uh, right away, Miss Lance." Rip scurried out of her room.

The heating pad helped marginally, and she soon dropped into an unsettled sleep. When she woke up again, there was a small crowd clustered around her bed. Sara blinked groggily. "Um... what the _heck_ are you guys all doing in my room?"

"Well, we did some research," Ray started.

" _He_ did some research," Snart corrected. "I warned him that this was a bad idea and he should stay the heck out of your room."

"I just wanted to see him get stabbed," Mick grunted from the corner, smirking.

Ray rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I did some research, through Gideon, and she told me that chocolate helps with cramps, and mint helps with... um... moodiness."

Sara raised her eyebrows. "Thanks, Ray," she said sarcastically. "Because I _totally_ didn't already know that."

"Well, I didn't," Ray shrugged. "And if I had, I would have brought you these sooner."

He held out his hands from behind his back and present her with a large Hershey's chocolate bar and a cup of mint tea. Sara's looked between the objects and Ray's earnest face. "Um... thanks," she muttered, taking the food. "I... I appreciate that."

"Darn it!" Mick grunted. "She didn't stab him."

"Well, color me surprised, Assassin," Snart snarked. "You've come leaps and bounds since Russia."

Sara glared at him. "Watch it, Snart," she muttered. "I still have knives and I still have wicked aim. I appreciate the food, but I'd appreciate it even more if you all _got out_."

They got out.

5: Sexism

"Now, for this mission, I'm going to have to ask you to stay here, Miss Lance," Rip said. His tone was apologetic, but firm.

Sara's jaw dropped. "Are you _kidding_ me?" she gaped. "You are going to snipe someone. I am _literally the sniper on your team_. Why are you benching me?"

" _Because_ , Miss Lance," Rip explained, his tone infuriatingly patient. "We are going undercover, and we have no need for a maid or a housewife or any other role that a female would play in the 15th century."

Sara grit her teeth, but Ray gave her a look. "Relax, Sara," he said. "Rip's got a point. As helpful as you were as a nurse, it's time for us men to do some work."

He puffed out his chest importantly, before Sara sent him the glare of death and stalked off. Ray looked confused. "Did I... did I say something wrong?"

"Mm..." Snart hummed. "Let me put it to you this way, Raymond. If Sara and a couple of her assassin friends put us on the sidelines for a mission and told us that 'it was time for the females to do some work', how would that make you feel? It would most likely injure your sensitive masculinity."

"My masculinity isn't sensitive!" Ray protested, offended. "Besides, Sara doesn't _have_ masculinity, so I couldn't have injured it."

"No, Mr. Palmer, you couldn't have," Rip put in, sighing. He did really hate to have to put Sara out of a mission, just because the time period didn't allow for females. "But you injured her femininity, and her sense of feminism, which is just as harsh."

Ray's face fell. "Oh," he sighed. "Maybe I should go apologize."

"I'd leave it, Raymond," Snart cautioned. "We have a mission to go on. Talk to her when we get back... and need her help."

Sara, standing motionless around the corner, smiled.

6: Our Girl

A soon as Sara got back to the ship, Mick handed her a bottle of beer.

"Where is he?" he asked menacingly. "I wanna put a broken bottle through his skull."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Relax, Mick," she muttered, taking a long swig of beer and wishing that she didn't have such a high alcohol intolerance. "He just knifed me in the shoulder, it's not the end of the world."

Snart, who had helped her back to the Waverider, glanced down at his blood soaked clothes and pulled a face. "Yeah, _sure_. Because "not a big deal" looks like this much blood."

They walked into the bridge, where Rip looked up with a sigh. "What exactly happened, Miss Lance?"

Sara took another long drink of the beer and then set it down heavily on the table. "Pretty girl with blond hair and a low cut top met tough guy with a sense of entitlement and a lack of soberness. A fight ensued. Sound familiar?"

"Sounds like you," Ray agreed. "That looks pretty nasty; you should head to the med bay."

"Yeah, maybe," Sara muttered.

She took another step and staggered, face draining to white. Jax, who was thankfully close by, caught her. "Easy there," he said, smiling a little. "Rip probably wouldn't appreciate it if you got blood on his floor."

Sara snorted. "Eh, but Gideon's the lady," she countered. "She's the one who likes to keep things nice and clean."

Jax put his arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you fixed up," he said, nodding. Ray, Rip, Leonard, Mick, and Stein (who had just walked in), joined up in a long train to follow the two of them to the med bay.

"Why are you all here?" Sara asked flatly one they arrived, confused by the many presences now crammed into the med bay and the hallway beyond. "I just got stabbed."

"Because you're our girl," Mick grunted, patting her good shoulder.

"And when our girl gets hurt, we're all there to back her," Jax finished, grinning.

Sara smiled, a little tendril of warmth snaking around her heart. "I love you guys," she said with a grin.

Leonard smiled fondly. "We love you too, Sara."

 **Author's Note: TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE IN THE COMMENTS! This was so fun to write. Personally, I love being the only girl in a group of guys. It makes you feel special :)**


End file.
